Build a dog bond
What to do if you feel like your dog doesn’t like you?
Dogs are complex social, emotional animals, with rich communication skills. However, like people, they don’t always warm to everyone right away. Whether it’s a new dog you’ve just met or one you live with, you might occasionally get the sense they’re just not that into you. Don’t worry, though! Relationships with dogs can be built and rebuilt with time, understanding, compassion, and patience.
How a dog might show their discomfort around you.
Dogs often communicate discomfort or distrust through subtle signs first. Here’s what to watch for:
1. Avoidance
If a dog consistently moves away when you enter the room, avoids eye contact, or won’t come near you, even for treats, that’s a clear sign they’re uncomfortable.
2. Stiff Body Language
A tense, rigid posture, tucked tail, ears pinned back, or lips tightly closed all suggest a dog is uneasy around you.
These are not signs of aggression for no reason, they’re warnings. A dog who growls or air-snaps is saying, “Please give me space.” Rather than punish them for them, try to understand what they are trying to communicate to you.
4. Lip Licking, Yawning, or Whale Eye
These are classic calming signals. Ways dogs communicate stress or discomfort. If these happen repeatedly when you're nearby or interacting, the dog may feel unsafe.
5. Tail Position
Not all wagging tails mean happiness. A high, stiff wag can mean alertness or agitation, while a tail tucked between the legs shows fear or discomfort with what is going on around them.
6. Refusing Treats or Play
Dogs that are relaxed and happy will usually respond to food or toys. If a dog refuses even their favourite things in your presence, that’s a sign of stress.
How to Repair or Build Trust with a Dog
By creating positive associations, respecting boundaries, and giving them reasons to feel safe, and comfortable around you.
1. Give Them Space
It’s counter-intuitive, but backing off is often the first step to connection. Let the dog come to you in their own time. Don’t force contact. uncomfortable.
2. Be Predictable and Calm
Avoid sudden movements or loud voices. Dogs thrive on consistency. Be someone they can rely on to be safe, quiet, and respectful of their boundaries.
If a dog approaches you, don’t rush to pet them. Let them sniff, observe, and decide how close they want to be. Use the consent test. Invite them into your space, stroke them underneath their chin, down the side of their body, briefly. Stop, step back, and if they approach you, this will indicate that they would like more.
4. Use High-Value Rewards
When the dog chooses to come near you or engage calmly, reward them with something they love. This could be high value treats that smell good, lots of praise, and don’t forget to play with them through toys as a medium! Let good things happen around you.
5. Avoid Direct Eye Contact
In dog language, direct staring can be seen as a threat. Instead, blink slowly, look to the side, and angle your body to reduce perceived pressure.
6. Respect Their "No"
Every growl, snap, or look-away is a message. If a dog says, "not now," listen. Back away, give them space, and try not to punish them for communicating their discomfort with you, or what is going on around them. Ignoring their signals can deepen mistrust.
When to Get Help?
If a dog’s fear or dislike seems intense or persistent, especially if aggression is involved, it's recommended to consult a dog professional who is rewards based, force free, and can demonstrate a deep understanding of canine behaviour.
They can help you assess the root of the issue and offer a tailored, humane approach.
Final Thoughts
Dogs live in the moment, and they don’t hold grudges. However, they do remember how they felt around you or certain environments. Earning their trust may take time, but it’s worth every moment. Building a bond, and a strong foundation with a nervous or unsure dog, built on trust, compassion, patience, and all the love in the world, isn’t just rewarding, it’s a quiet kind of magic.
I hope you’ve found this article informative, and helpful.
Rob Staves
The Nose Knows Ltd.hello@thenoseknows.uk
07456506675
